Laura Marcoux

in the desert sun I can’t outrun 
these shadow figures and this mirror maze 
these day-lit filters and this blinding gaze 

my mindset is a swing set
I’m not ready to get off yet
so bring it up again -
remind me how I built the sturdy walls of my incarceration:

rock formations, fabrications of a separate self
telling myself I miss the cosmic ocean
lying again just to lie with you
in the madness of this torrid devotion

arid wind, wind me up
keep ringing in my ears that I’m not good enough
and I haven’t made it yet
I miss something that I never had 
I miss my future more than I miss my past 

heartbeat, I keep the drumbeat of your salty words 
on my playlist, on repeat 
I buy season tickets to your tragic drama every year
I have box seats 

push me harder, caress the savory walls of my lonely heart
pull me softly into the heavenly dark
the best you can love me is incompletely
let me be hollow, and hungry 

please hurry -
this swing set is quickly fading in the sunset
and I don't want to forget
I'm holding onto you

don't the shadows tell the sweetest truths
and the most ecstatic lies
but now I'm whole again
and I open my eyes.