Laura Marcoux

Descending stillness in the dark of the night
I can feel her, breathing
Patience is an autumn tree 
Content and leaving

She is a skilled hunter 
she waits for me
She doesn’t pursue me, she 
Hums my name like wind through trees
She remembers me
Even when I forget
And I move too hastily
And I think purpose and meaning must be somewhere out there 

Where I thought life should conform to my preferences 
I have a whole resume full of references 
That say this woman
Tries harder than necessary
And as I lie here in this predawn cemetery 
I let go of this regressionary weight on me
I am a honeybee 

Like a flower, she stirs me gracefully
Persistent like a vine, she climbs 
Past my hard won defenses
She gives me space to be restless 

There are so many things I want to do first  
There are people I aspire to be 
She doesn’t resist this 
She doesn’t want my apathy 
Her apatite is too large
To be fed by anything less 
Than my whole heart 

She says, it’s all right here
And worlds apart. 

She reminds me of the time I thought resting would kill me
We laugh like it was yesterday 
Because it was, and it still is 
And its this stillness that hunts me 

Whispers, it’s not easy
But it could be

We are 2 old ladies on porch swings 
We are 2 black widows making sweet love
Remembering our wings 
Knowing only one of us gets out of here 
alive and free 

And it’s always Her 
Inside of me.